Nightmares

The nightmare two nights ago was about euthanizing Whisper.

It’s not going away.... because having to do so within the next few months is a very real possibility. There’s also a possibility of an extended rehabilitation, 6 months or more-- or of her recovering to the point where euthanization isn’t a reasonable option, but riding her isn’t possible either.

This is tearing me up. My kid is suffering just from the loss of riding for the last 3 months; actually losing Whisper will be devastating. Months more of not being able to ride are going to stress her out badly, as if the last months of high school aren’t stressful enough already. Financially, we can’t afford a second horse at least until she’s able to work to pay for it; so the only rides she’s getting are weekly lessons on school horses.

We’re exploring the medical options for Whisper quite thoroughly. Blood work turned up some deficiencies which may be at least contributing to the problem. We’re also looking into having an equine chiropractor examine her.

And the vet bills have been astronomical already.

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Posting about Whisper helped (and all your kind comments have helped tremendously). Her situation is probably going to take months to play out (the next big hurdle is her next trimming, early in April); I’ll try to do weekly updates. Finding out that the vet bill is considerably less than I thought also helped; there was a BIG error on one invoice.

Piano kiddies also helped. My newest, youngest pupil is absolutely flying through his primer; he instantly grasped the connection between the letter name of a note, its “picture” on the music staff, and the actual note on the keyboard, a concept my other students have struggled with for months. The two girls were both brilliant and fun. My oldest student, unfortunately, hadn’t practiced, and had had a fight with his father on the way to lessons, so he sulked throughout. To top it all off, I may have another student within a week or two, a young girl whom I thoroughly enjoyed working with in my previous childrens’ choir.

Edit: just found out that hubby's annual bonus is quite a lot more than we were expecting. The vet bills don't look nearly so frightening any more. Whew!

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I’ve been following this controversy with interest, lately. [Summing up-- a United Methodist bishop has written a book in which he outlines his very liberal understanding of Christianity succinctly and explicitly. Responses have ranged from condemnation and calls for a heresy trial to support and gratitude for his candor.]

The situation fascinates me because it is finally forcing at least some liberal Methodist ministers, especially bishops, to be honest about their beliefs. (Check out the last two paragraphs of that article for an example.) Having worked closely with an unusual number of ministers and ministerial candidates, I’ve discovered that many of them are closet liberals-- afraid to preach what they actually believe. They walk a careful line, never actually affirming either fundamentalist or liberal views, preaching about living good lives without actually preaching much Christianity at all. Most of them will cautiously admit their liberal beliefs in one-on-one discussions (which is how I’ve found out); some will let them show in small groups like Bible studies; but they won’t preach it in front of their entire congregations. After all, that would cause discussion, arguments-- it might actually make people think. Can’t have that, can we?

My church librarian bought Bishop Sprague’s book, and I’m reading it now. I had intended to post brief notes about it as I read..... but I can’t stop. So after I finish it, tomorrow probably, I’ll re-read and share some tidbits. It’s only 112 pages, so if you want to know what liberal Christianity is, it’s a good place to start.

People like Joseph Sprague and John Shelby Spong and Peter Gomes and Andrew Greeley give me hope.