Ponderings

Mar. 3rd, 2020 04:02 pm
kayre: (Default)
[personal profile] kayre
I was ill last week. I played for Ash Wednesday, and then had a scheduled Sunday off. Because of post-illness fatigue and bad weather, my travel plans were cancelled, so I stayed home, rested a lot, and visited a small church on Sunday. I've been feeling quite burnt out at church lately, and that's led to some pondering that is still a bit amorphous.

1) I'm a musical extravert, playing in a situation where I get very little feedback. Part of this is that I play for rather typical suburban Presbyterians, who are generally rather reserved. But I'm starting to think that a lot of the problem is simply that the organ and piano are at the back of the church. I can hear hymn-singing, but not strongly, and I can't see people while they sing; I have no idea if they're getting involved in the music or just mechanically doing what's next in the bulletin. (Moving organ and piano is not an option, unless someone wants to donate $50k or so.) (I was surprised to realize that I have not played from the back of a church on a regular basis since approximately 1992.)

2) I'm really wanting some raw music, less polished, more passionate. I'm listening to very early jazz and gospel, and loving recordings that are just one voice and a bass line; I'm even pondering buying or making a diddley bow or canjo (link below). I'm also listening to songs coming out of the Poor People's Campaign. I miss sing-alongs, especially singing in harmony.

3) All that said, I also still love classical organ music and the great hymns; for a while now I've been making a point of spending one practice session per week just playing stuff I love, or sightreading to find new loves. That's at least a bit restorative....

Date: 2020-03-04 12:16 pm (UTC)
amaebi: black fox (Default)
From: [personal profile] amaebi
I'm sorry you're feeling as bottom-scrapey as that. :(

I can of course, only imagine the feelings you have from (1). But if even I am as troubled as I am about the congregation I love singing so little, so purely symbolically, it gives me a little measure of how you must feel. We sing and Alfred plays from the back, but people typically do stop to thank Alfred/us. I hope you receive that: you are an extraordinary musician.

I would love to hear your work with a diddley bow or banjo. I would love to participate.

It sounds as if variety is some help?

Date: 2020-03-04 12:58 pm (UTC)
sine_nomine: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sine_nomine
I am so sorry to hear you are feeling musically underwhelmed and unsupported.

I do have one thought re options for singing in harmony, if you'd like?

Date: 2020-03-06 03:36 pm (UTC)
silkensteel: (Default)
From: [personal profile] silkensteel
I wonder if there's a way that you can talk to the pastor about having one hymn or gospel song in each service where everyone turns around and faces you and sings?

In the Friday night service, during "Lecha Dodi" (where the Sabbath is welcomed as a Bride) everyone turns to face the doors, sometimes beckoning with their hands, to physically welcome the Sabbath's entry into the community. That's what I see when I think about your congregation perhaps physically welcoming the joy of your music into their worship.

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