twists and turns

[kayre]

.

There is a church planning process taking place right now, trying to figure out future worship. Last week a (generally kind but) forceful man pretty much insisted that we needed to do this process a particular way, so he'd be glad to lead it, and it worked. He then outlined his process, including some really startling stuff ("Everything is on the table. Do we really have to read scripture in worship?") and completely shut down discussion.

The first meeting was last night, and it wasn't nearly as bad as that makes it sound, but the whole thing has made me considerably on edge. And then I woke up today to discover that my "substitute" organist, whom I was planning to begin recording at 9 a.m., had decided to record himself, and was more than halfway through. I quickly checked a couple of recordings, and they are of adequate quality, though not as good as mine would have been (and in fact, I could have helped him get better quality). I headed to church at the originally appointed time to give him his check, and I was feeling pretty steamed.

I am profoundly grateful that he started talking before I had any chance to be icily polite, as I likely would have. "Carol, I didn't sleep a wink last night... I finally came in here at dawn and just sat for an hour, and then started playing.... I got a phone call at 11:30 last night..." He had just found out, last night, that a long distance friend killed himself two weeks ago. Local friends had just charged up the man's phone and checked his messages. So I was able to listen, and talk while he cried at last (and dammit, not hug him or even touch his shoulder); and eventually turned over the check and thanked him for the recordings. And am thoroughly reminded that we are all carrying our own invisible burdens.

Comments

[amaebi]

I love you.

(But you know that.)

[asakiyume]

I'm very sorry for your substitute organist is going through--what a painful loss. And yeah, your story is a very powerful reminder that when some slight happens to us, there may be some reason for it that has nothing at all to do with us, and that especially now, it's important to have that in mind and to try to be slippery to offenses (not let them stick). The way you set up the story was really good too, though, because we ourselves--in this case you--are also going through stuff, and the unpleasant process you'd been through with the forceful man at the church planning session affected your own emotional reserves. I'm really glad it ended up as it did--it sounds like it was healing for both of you.

[bethynyc]

echoing what was said above -- asakiyume said it very well. I'm so sorry he is going through this, and glad you could be a comfort and a caring listener. ::hugs::

[cellio]

Oh ouch, that sounds rough. I'm glad you could be there for him and that he spoke first.

AS for your forceful man -- "do we really need to read scripture?" -- WTF? Isn't that, like, one of the central reasons a church community convenes? (Question from the outside, but that's my impression.)