Moving forward
Nov. 23rd, 2004 02:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kayreThis week's Reconciling Ministries email newsletter is wonderful, so I'm going to share it here. Feel free to link or pass it on, as long as you credit the author (Rev. Troy G. Plummer, as noted below).
Honor, Harness, and Harvest
"Be angry, but do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your anger."
- Ephesians 4:26
As many of us gather in families-families of origin, families of choice, families of
convenience, families of necessity-this holiday season, we engage in reconnecting in
environments that may or may not be conducive to our thriving. We engage in relationships
that more often are complicated by many needs, hopes, dreams, and life experiences. Some
of us-whether of a majority or minority sexual orientation or gender identity-return a
bit beaten by ballot initiatives that successfully encoded discrimination in 11 state
constitutions. A bit beaten by debates that demean the sacredness of all of God's
creatures and creation. A bit beaten by the bashing and scapegoating of our loves, our
children, our families.
Immediately following the results of votes cast creating a second caste of LGBT families,
we received many communications by phone, mail, email pouring emotions of woundedness,
despair, disbelief, betrayal, and hopelessness. The backlash to earlier strides for
inclusion in Lawrence v. Texas and Goodridge v. Massachusetts assaulted us in bold
headlines and across the airwaves.
For some people, the mood quickly shifted from depression to indignation at injustice.
One mother of a lesbian went from "I am feeling so wounded" to "OK now, they have really
made me angry... just try to keep my family second class" in the span of one week. One
very out lesbian spent time conversing with her siblings sharing her dismay-turned-anger
and daring them to be fully supportive. Tolerance was no longer acceptable; they must
show caring.
One simple verse from Ephesians helps to reframe anger and intense emotions as something
to be authenticated, assimilated and advanced rather than avoided, truncated, or delayed.
"Be angry. But do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your anger."
First command: Honor the emotion; feel it. "Be angry!"
Second command: Harness the emotion; control it. "But do not sin."
Third command: Harvest the emotion; glean it. "Do not let the sun go down on your anger."
First: Be angry. Be involved enough in life to care strongly about it and to have
emotions. How often have unfelt, unspoken emotions stymied the best of relationships,
paralyzed the most potent purposes? Anger can be as telling as the "idiot light" on a
dashboard telling us to change the oil or get gas. Anger is a sign that "all is not well"
in the system. We may have had our boundaries crossed, or had our sacredness defiled in
public debate, or feel threat. In any case, we must stop driving to check out the light
or we are headed for a larger problem. Honor the emotion.
Second: Do not sin. Sometimes when we feel threatened we try to make ourselves larger,
bigger than we are. The peacock spreads his tail; the blowfish puffs up; the grizzly
stands full height. Some people erupt loudly, spewing venom. Others behave as if nothing
has affected them; yet they coldly rationally contemplate vengeance and take careful aim
at their target. Both miss the mark. Both sin-those that spew and those that take careful
aim.
These persons need help using their anger in productive ways. And the first step to using
anger productively is to find a way to harness it. As small children we are often taught
to count to ten. Simple-yet effective, if you take a deep breath between each number and
don't rush through it like I did as a child. The scripture offers the format of the
psalmist. Complain loudly to God. Tell God the entire story. Trust that God hears you.
Praise God who is with you. Harnesses need to be made to fit. They don't stifle, but they
don't permit harm either. Harness the emotion.
Third: Do not let the sun go down on your anger. It is harvest time. You need to do the
work while the sun is up. If we honor the emotion and harness the emotion, then we must
learn what the emotion has to teach us. We lose a unique opportunity to move forward when
we miss the harvest. Our anger may be directed at society or the church and spur us to
become active in fighting the injustices around us. It may be used as a creative force to
change our own behavior or to confront another with the need to change theirs. Before the
sun goes down implies a time frame. We have seen anger not resolved over time become
resentment deeply embedded. To seek a harvest puts our anger to use challenging us to
grow at the same time. Harvest the emotion.
Will you be moved to action? Will you convert a powerful emotional response to equally
powerful intentional change? Will you take the next best step for full inclusion right
where you are?
If your church's reconciling process has stalled, will you rekindle it?
If you were silent while others demeaned LGBT persons, will you speak up?
If you haven't shared what reconciling means to you, will you tell others?
If you have become complacent in your own pink ghetto, will you reach out?
If you have been held back by fear, will you let your anger push you through it?
Each of us has a next step we can take wherever we are.
What is yours?
- Rev. Troy G. Plummer
Honor, Harness, and Harvest
"Be angry, but do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your anger."
- Ephesians 4:26
As many of us gather in families-families of origin, families of choice, families of
convenience, families of necessity-this holiday season, we engage in reconnecting in
environments that may or may not be conducive to our thriving. We engage in relationships
that more often are complicated by many needs, hopes, dreams, and life experiences. Some
of us-whether of a majority or minority sexual orientation or gender identity-return a
bit beaten by ballot initiatives that successfully encoded discrimination in 11 state
constitutions. A bit beaten by debates that demean the sacredness of all of God's
creatures and creation. A bit beaten by the bashing and scapegoating of our loves, our
children, our families.
Immediately following the results of votes cast creating a second caste of LGBT families,
we received many communications by phone, mail, email pouring emotions of woundedness,
despair, disbelief, betrayal, and hopelessness. The backlash to earlier strides for
inclusion in Lawrence v. Texas and Goodridge v. Massachusetts assaulted us in bold
headlines and across the airwaves.
For some people, the mood quickly shifted from depression to indignation at injustice.
One mother of a lesbian went from "I am feeling so wounded" to "OK now, they have really
made me angry... just try to keep my family second class" in the span of one week. One
very out lesbian spent time conversing with her siblings sharing her dismay-turned-anger
and daring them to be fully supportive. Tolerance was no longer acceptable; they must
show caring.
One simple verse from Ephesians helps to reframe anger and intense emotions as something
to be authenticated, assimilated and advanced rather than avoided, truncated, or delayed.
"Be angry. But do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your anger."
First command: Honor the emotion; feel it. "Be angry!"
Second command: Harness the emotion; control it. "But do not sin."
Third command: Harvest the emotion; glean it. "Do not let the sun go down on your anger."
First: Be angry. Be involved enough in life to care strongly about it and to have
emotions. How often have unfelt, unspoken emotions stymied the best of relationships,
paralyzed the most potent purposes? Anger can be as telling as the "idiot light" on a
dashboard telling us to change the oil or get gas. Anger is a sign that "all is not well"
in the system. We may have had our boundaries crossed, or had our sacredness defiled in
public debate, or feel threat. In any case, we must stop driving to check out the light
or we are headed for a larger problem. Honor the emotion.
Second: Do not sin. Sometimes when we feel threatened we try to make ourselves larger,
bigger than we are. The peacock spreads his tail; the blowfish puffs up; the grizzly
stands full height. Some people erupt loudly, spewing venom. Others behave as if nothing
has affected them; yet they coldly rationally contemplate vengeance and take careful aim
at their target. Both miss the mark. Both sin-those that spew and those that take careful
aim.
These persons need help using their anger in productive ways. And the first step to using
anger productively is to find a way to harness it. As small children we are often taught
to count to ten. Simple-yet effective, if you take a deep breath between each number and
don't rush through it like I did as a child. The scripture offers the format of the
psalmist. Complain loudly to God. Tell God the entire story. Trust that God hears you.
Praise God who is with you. Harnesses need to be made to fit. They don't stifle, but they
don't permit harm either. Harness the emotion.
Third: Do not let the sun go down on your anger. It is harvest time. You need to do the
work while the sun is up. If we honor the emotion and harness the emotion, then we must
learn what the emotion has to teach us. We lose a unique opportunity to move forward when
we miss the harvest. Our anger may be directed at society or the church and spur us to
become active in fighting the injustices around us. It may be used as a creative force to
change our own behavior or to confront another with the need to change theirs. Before the
sun goes down implies a time frame. We have seen anger not resolved over time become
resentment deeply embedded. To seek a harvest puts our anger to use challenging us to
grow at the same time. Harvest the emotion.
Will you be moved to action? Will you convert a powerful emotional response to equally
powerful intentional change? Will you take the next best step for full inclusion right
where you are?
If your church's reconciling process has stalled, will you rekindle it?
If you were silent while others demeaned LGBT persons, will you speak up?
If you haven't shared what reconciling means to you, will you tell others?
If you have become complacent in your own pink ghetto, will you reach out?
If you have been held back by fear, will you let your anger push you through it?
Each of us has a next step we can take wherever we are.
What is yours?
- Rev. Troy G. Plummer
